CLIENT: Personal Work
Acrylic on wood.
From the Diary of Christina Farmer:
“November 19th, 2017.
I was SO proud of Douglas. Well, I mean, I AM so proud of Douglas. I mean…I don’t really know what I mean anymore. Despite the unintended burden I couldn’t help feeling from having to raise Meredith practically on my own after the doctors discovered her tumors and amputated her feet, Douglas was Living his dream. Not many of us can genuinely say that. But he was doing it. He was ACTUALLY becoming an astronaut. 2 years of classroom work. 3 years of tests. 10-months of survival training. And 21 years of telling me that someday he will blow me a kiss from 220,000 miles above our house. All for a 30-second spacewalk that…well…that might have….no. It’s fine. Douglas is fine. He’s just a little jaundiced from the trip and I’m just in disbelief that he’s home safe. I better go make dinner for them.
November 26th, 2017
Douglas is NOT fine. He’s sweating like a Chicago Bull. His skin has gotten yellower. Is that a word, "yellower”? Regardless, he is literally changing color in front of me. His skin is the color of a fucking Simpson, for Pete’s sake. And it doesn’t feel like HIS skin, if that makes sense. Ah, I know it doesn’t. Nothing makes sense right now. He’s so happy. He did it. Why can’t I be happy too?
November 28th, 2017
Douglas’ skin is sagging beyond belief. And he has growths forming out of his ears. He can barely hear me begging me for him to go back to the lab to visit their doctor. He keeps refusing. And drooling….
But I can at least bring a doctor to him.
November 29th, 2017
I took Meredith to my mother’s house to stay until Christmas after I found her crying next to Douglas’ bed. There were marks on her neck. Not bruises…they were more like a pattern. It looked like a socket…I wish Douglas would admit something is wrong.
December 1st, 2017
Doctor Patton won’t return my calls. He took ONE look at Douglas, mumbled something about having to “grab something out of the car” and never came back. Douglas’ speech is completely unintelligible now.
December 3rd, 2017.
Meredith bit my mother today. Why would she do that? What is going on. I’m so alone.
December 10th, 2017.
Douglas won’t let me leave. His nose is gone. There one day, gone the next. Just gone. His growths have fingers. He won’t stop smiling. He stinks. I can’t leave. I don’t know where Meredith is. Everything is wrong. I don’t know what’s happening. I can’t leave. I’m so —–
February 5th, 2018
If you are reading this, I’m sorry. I’m sorry I let Douglas go into space. I’m sorry for being supportive and allowing him to let me raise Meredith on my own. I’m sorry I wasn’t stronger. I’m sorry I couldn’t make him listen when I said he needed help. But most of all, I’m sorry that I let him escape. You are all in danger. But not me. No, not me…..he won’t ever hurt me….because I just found out that I’m pregnant again…and I can already feel my baby smiling.“