“My Name is HARM. Short For Harmony. I didn’t give myself that name, but it’s fitting. You see, I have a disease. Or rather, I have a CURSE. 1300 years ago I was bought by an 8th century wizard as a birthday present for his 6 year old daughter, Kate. At first sight of me, little Katie burst into tears and, for some reason, also burst into FLAMES, disintegrating every bone in her body almost instantly. Whether my appearance played any role in her demise or not, Kate's wizard-father surely blamed me, and, as punishment, blessed me with the ability to speak, but simultaneously cursed me with an inability to tell a lie, knowing the turmoil my life would be without being able to lie. He discarded me in a crowded village where it was inevitable that some poor, low-self-esteemed human would discover me and take me home. And that’s exactly what happened. An oyster-farmer found me, and exclaimed that I would be perfect gift for his son, but when I opened my mouth to say “Thank you,” what actually came out was “Your wife is a leper.” This was TRUE, however. Leprosy ran rampant back then. But he took it the wrong way, and immediately ripped me limb from limb, and discarded me back into the street. Over the course of 3 days I was able to reassemble myself, but then, the cycle began again. As it did for the next thousand years.
Over the past centuries, I’ve has taken many forms, some more flattering than others. But still, my cursed mouth never fails to perform. People really don’t like hearing the truth about themselves. And therefore, I never last long, and every time it’s me who ends up in a pile of my own tears, ripped fur and cotton stuffing. But every time I am destroyed, I vow to come back stronger, destined to find that lucky victi…I mean FRIEND who will like me for who I am, not for what I say. Maybe that friend will be you….you naive slime.”
And so, on Monday, JULY 15th, at 10AM PST, in my shop on ALEXPARDEE.COM, you will be able to buy the current reanimated form of HARM in all of his plush, stuffed goodness. Measuring almost 13” tall, and soft enough to hug (or rip apart if he pisses you off with truth-bombs), you can adopt him for yourself for only $35. Limited amount available at the drop. More will be available at my booth at San Diego Comic Con as well. Some brand new pins are also going on sale at the same time. Stay tuned!
