HEY YOU NOODLE LOVERS! For the first time in 3 years, I’ll have a booth and will be attending both days of MONDO-CON this year (Sept 14th & 15th) in Austin, TX and I will have a TON of new stuff! Make sure to follow my social media at @alexpardee to follow the releases and info! And tickets to MONDO CON are still available HERE.
“My Name is HARM. Short For Harmony. I didn’t give myself that name, but it’s fitting. You see, I have a disease. Or rather, I have a CURSE. 1300 years ago I was bought by an 8th century wizard as a birthday present for his 6 year old daughter, Kate. At first sight of me, little Katie burst into tears and, for some reason, also burst into FLAMES, disintegrating every bone in her body almost instantly. Whether my appearance played any role in her demise or not, Kate's wizard-father surely blamed me, and, as punishment, blessed me with the ability to speak, but simultaneously cursed me with an inability to tell a lie, knowing the turmoil my life would be without being able to lie. He discarded me in a crowded village where it was inevitable that some poor, low-self-esteemed human would discover me and take me home. And that’s exactly what happened. An oyster-farmer found me, and exclaimed that I would be perfect gift for his son, but when I opened my mouth to say “Thank you,” what actually came out was “Your wife is a leper.” This was TRUE, however. Leprosy ran rampant back then. But he took it the wrong way, and immediately ripped me limb from limb, and discarded me back into the street. Over the course of 3 days I was able to reassemble myself, but then, the cycle began again. As it did for the next thousand years.
Over the past centuries, I’ve has taken many forms, some more flattering than others. But still, my cursed mouth never fails to perform. People really don’t like hearing the truth about themselves. And therefore, I never last long, and every time it’s me who ends up in a pile of my own tears, ripped fur and cotton stuffing. But every time I am destroyed, I vow to come back stronger, destined to find that lucky victi…I mean FRIEND who will like me for who I am, not for what I say. Maybe that friend will be you….you naive slime.”
And so, on Monday, JULY 15th, at 10AM PST, in my shop on ALEXPARDEE.COM, you will be able to buy the current reanimated form of HARM in all of his plush, stuffed goodness. Measuring almost 13” tall, and soft enough to hug (or rip apart if he pisses you off with truth-bombs), you can adopt him for yourself for only $35. Limited amount available at the drop. More will be available at my booth at San Diego Comic Con as well. Some brand new pins are also going on sale at the same time. Stay tuned!
My 19th Year At San Diego Comic Con is coming up! I’ll be there all 5 days, opening to close, hawking new goods and trying not to pass out! Come say hi. New stuff, new smiles. Follow my social media accounts @alexpardee to see more specific product updates, but I’ll be there alongside my art-ners in crime Dave Correia, Jon Wayshak, and Greg Aronowitz and the Hollywood Art Museum!. Same place as I’ve been in the last 10 years, but if you aren’t familiar with the layout of the convention, DON’T pay attention to the number system, our booth is in a weird place. Just pay attention to this handy visual guide I have made for you, and look for a giant Pink Swamp Hag Skull in a giant barn.
See you there!!!! Oh, and yes, most of the releases from Comic Con will be on sale online at a later date. Hang in there. Yay!
Have you ever seen a ton of people online posting about how cool it is that they are at some weird art or comic convention that is 3000 miles away from you and will never come to your “small town”? What about the even more tortuous scenario where the cool art event is literally in your city, but it costs $150 just to walk in the door? Well, thanks to the savior Mike Mitchell, now you can be a part of a new cool art event no matter where you are in the world, as long as you have access to the internet! Even stolen internet will work!!
This weekend, starting Saturday morning, marks the beginning of the very first SOFA-CON, the only convention you can attend (and get exclusive merch) from the power of your couch! Or your bed. Or your toilet. Or even a mountain! That would actually be awesome. Anyway, Mike has gathered 24 artists (myself included) who, over the course of 48 hours, will each be releasing new exclusive prints, shirts, pins, rare art, and who knows what else! You can see the list of artists and the full release schedule HERE at SOFA-CON.com and you can also participate in the Discord Chat before and during the show too!
In addition to just waiting until some stuff is released throughout the weekend, there will be some fun surprises, too, like some live-streaming, giveaways, chats, and surprise drops (from some of the artists). All of those bonuses should be revealed on the discord chat and on the @SofaConOfficial instagram page.
Anyway, I am super excited to finally release my new “SELF-EMPLOYED” capsule collection for Sofa Con this weekend. My collection will be released SUNDAY, MAY 19th at 3PM PST exclusively right here in my SHOP.
Although I can’t promise that I will be releasing anything unscheduled, I am batting around some ideas so please stay tuned to my social networks or the Sofa Con discord!
My releases will be as follows (all available at 3PM PST SUNDAY may 19th at alexpardee.com):
“SELF EMPLOYED” 16 x 20 Giclee Print.
Limited Edition of 75
Signed and Embossed
”SELF-EMPLOYED” Red Zip-Up Hoodie
Screenprinted Front & Back
Limited Edition of 100
”SELF-EMPLOYED” White Longsleeve T-shirt
5 Color Screenprint
Limited Edition of 75
“SELF-EMPLOYED” Black T-Shirt
5 Color Screenprint
Limited Edition of 75
Plus, I will also have an exclusive new enamel pin featuring the unofficial mascot of Sofa Con, THE SOFA KING! Limited to 150 for $15 each.
BUUTTTTTTT, that’s not ALL! Recently, my friend and budding artist Carl Field has been really bugging me to share his art. And since he got out of county jail for swiping some lasagna from a local italian restaurant, so I am going to throw in a FREE sheet of his tattoo flash he’s been drawing with every t-shirt or print order the entire weekend during Sofa-Con:) ANNNNNNND, I’m also going to be randomly inserting Carl Field’s ORIGINAL DRAWINGS into random orders all throughout the weekend, too! Anyone can be “lucky” enough (In Carl’s words) to win one of these drawings!
SEE YOU THIS WEEKEND!!!!
My first art book in over 6 years is all done and it’s going up for pre-sale THIS MONDAY, MAY 6th at 10AM PST in two editions (Standard and Variant cover). This latest collection is a WonderTwins of sorts, a 2-for-one, featuring BOTH my collection of “BRIGHTMARE” paintings in full color (along with some short stories), as well as my collection of “DEAD-LINE” black and white drawings. Inspired by the idea of taking random mix tapes, hand-made zines, and happy children’s books, dump them in a blender, puree them on high, and then pour them all over the depths of my darkest nightmares, this new book is packed with over a hundred illustrations, most of which have not been published in my previous books. Also contained between the pages are some of my random short stories and monologues that have accompanied some of my characters and paintings over the years. I always loved adding an element of storytelling to my work, and with this book, I can finally showcase that additional layer to my world of weird-looking brightmares and downtrodden outcasts.
Included amongst the art and detailed close-ups of my messes, are a few stories revolving around mysticism, the vietnam war, smurfs, child abuse, superheroes, nightmares, and a maniac who steals your skin. You know, kids stuff. It’s the first time that I have included some of my writing to go along with the art so it’s pretty exciting I’m also self-publishing it this time, which means I depend on your support more than ever (but you’ve been pretty damn good to me so far so thank you!
The first half of the book is all in full color, then flip it over, and you have an entirely different book, all in black and white. 2 books in one!
Anyway, keep scrolling for details on BOTH editions of the book (they are the same on the inside FYI) and I will see you MONDAY MAY 6th AT 10AM PST EXCLUSIVELY ON MY SITE!!
Brightmares & DeadLines: The Art Of Alex Pardee
Hardcover: 136 page
6.5 x 0.75 x 8.5 inches
Signed on the front by me.
STANDARD EDITION: $25 Each
NOW FOR THE SPECIAL LIMITED EDITION BUNDLE PACKAGE: $75 EACH. Limited To 150
THIS BUNDLE INCLUDES THE FOLLOWING:
- One Limited Edition "Brightmares & Deadlines" Book with an exclusive cover, featuring a hand-drawn TITLE on the front and back of the book (drawn by Alex, books may vary slightly from what is shown).
- One Exclusive black t-shirt (shown). Please select your desired size from the drop down menu above.
- One Exclusive enamel pin (shown).
- One "Signature" Sharpie
Welcome to 2019! Not quite the future that was promised to us in Blade Runner, Back to The Future, or my unpublished sequel to Cool Runnings I wrote 22 years ago that takes place in 2019, but at least we are still here, together, crying in unison and looking online for things that make us scream and smile simultaneously.
So why not make your torso scream and smile simultaneously, too?
Well, for my very first shirt releaseof 2019, I'm unleashing possibly the brightest of all of my brightmares. This new design, "Shunderland", inspired by my painting of the same name, is printed in bold, neon inks and sure to make your coworkers and classmates uncomfortable! But luckily, the shirt itself is VERY comfortable:)
"SHUNDERLAND" will be going up for Pre-Order at 4PM PST on Thursday, January 10thexclusively on my site at alexpardee.com for $30 each. You can pre-order it at any time between January 10th and January 17th to guarantee your size. After January 17th there is no guarantee that your size will be available.
Plus, the FIRST 75 PRE-ORDERS will get a FREE "SHUNDERLAND" Enamel Pin to go along with the shirt.
As usual, the pin will be automatically included with your order while supplies last. The best way to know if you will receive a free pin is simple. If the "FREE PIN" banner is still visible on the store at the time you pre-order, you will get it.
Also, "SHUNDERLAND" shirts and prints will ship at the end of January.
SEE YOU HERE JANUARY 10th!
“How To Confidently Pretend Like You Know How To Paint” PART 1: Sometimes scribbling some shapes and staring that them like a hippy stares at clouds can spark a creative direction. But if you already have an idea, but still haven’t learned anatomy correctly after almost 100 years of life, take some reference photos. Usually it’s cheapest to use yourself as a model, but there are some hiccups with this route. For instance, I wanted this painting to be a skinny girl. I decided that it didn’t have to be a girl, but it still should be have a less puffy face. So in this case, I went on an extreme diet for 3 weeks prior to taking this photo because I have no idea how to improvise.
PART 2. Paper is still good for fun things like paper-cuts on your gums, making Chinese throwing stars or holding it up in front of your face while your friend is talking to you about Whole Foods again so don’t have to listen to them. But why waste precious paper and kill trees when you can use technology now!? We no longer have to use computers only to play Oregon Trail. We can use them to draw in Photoshop AND play Oregon Trail. If you notice the file size of this is over 900 Megs, and that’s because I scribble over the same drawing on about 900 different layers until there’s a sketch that finally stops making me feel like I totally want to Schroeder my head into the piano. Oh and the cool thing about computer-sketching is that you can decide later how big you want to paint it. Unlike sketching on flat murdered trees. Once you decide on a size, that’s it. Shit is real. No digital manipulation in real life. Oregon Trail!
PART 3-D (not really): Now that I have my sketch and realize that it’s raining outside like “gatos y peros” as they say here in Germany, I decide to use the one panel I had access to without getting wet or getting an umbrella, which was a 20"x 16" piece of clayboard. Clayboard is cool AF. it’s made from a bunch of compressed, ground up ashes of evil gypsies and because of that, it’s a very smooth and hard surface but also very absorbent. But it’s picky about what materials you can use on it. I do a lot of my black and white inking on clayboard because you can scratch away the black and make super fine-white details with a knife. Anyway, I don’t want to transfer the drawing just yet because I will end up losing the lines right away, so instead I just get a monkeys paw and use my first wish to hope that I generally splatter ink and water in the right places that will fit where the drawing will go. Then I use the second wish for the rain to stop, and a third wish for a leprechaun to deliver me a pizza because that ALWAYS puts me in a great mood. And then I apologize to the hand-less monkey.
Part 4: Ink and water seems to be a little wet, even when applied to absorbent ground up ashes of evil gypsies, so I had to let that wetness dry. Putting it outside in the rain would only make it worse, as funny as that would look. So I put a hairdryer on a tripod, pointed it at the panel, and went on YouTube to watch videos of paint drying because it’s way more fun than doing it in real life, especially because you can comment on the videos with silly conspiracies like “At 5:36 into the video I swear you can see Seth Rogen’s face in the paint”. So now that the panel is dry, it’s time to transfer the sketch. I used an updated dot matrix printer called an “ink jet” to print out the sketch on as many pieces of paper as it takes to get it to size. This is NO TIME for tree-sympathy. That was in the past. Then in between the sketch and the panel, I put a sheet of carbon paper down, then I just re-draw the drawing directly on top of the print out with a thin but hard pencil. This pushes carbon onto the panel wherever the pencil is pushed. You can find carbon paper at most art stores, or inside Han Solo’s frozen coffin. (Cheaper but messier way is to just coat the back of the print out in charcoal).
PART 5: Yay! Like a jailed convict who gets rewarded for good behavior, the drawing is now TRANSFERRED and the first layer of line-work gets applied (I use strictly Winsor Newton Series 7 brushes for inking). Unfortunately, there are a couple of stages in between this one and the last that I forgot to document due to silently pounding my fist into a vat of peanut butter out of frustration for making the same mistakes I always forget I make. There’s a few different brands of inks that you can use on clayboard and I use all of them. However, when wanting to apply black India ink on top of them, it doesn’t always work. I ended up using the wrong type of inks (don’t use Dr Martin’s Bombay India inks) and the black was completely repellent. So I had to use steel wool to sand off almost all of the ink’s finish in order to lay down any lines. So now a lot of the color is lost. Oh well, what’s lost can sometimes be found. That’s what Indiana Jones is good for.
PART 6: Jason Lives. I re-applied more color inks and water to make it more vibrant, mixing with the black India ink, throwing the brush around like Stevie Wonder hitting a piñata, and now it’s just a complete mess. But that’s ok, because this is also exactly how I clean my room, and how I eat my food. The messier it is, the more people think you know how to paint and tell you how much “contrasting texture you created” when in reality the dog jumped on your lap and you didn’t mean to mix blue on the end of the yellow arm. But the trick isn’t applying the paint, it’s cleaning up the mess.
PART 7: CREATE MORE MESS!!! The only important thing when making a mess is making sure that each layer of mess you make is DRY before you make more messes. It’s easy for a wet mess to become mud. Mix all of the colors together when they are wet and they morph into the sauce of diapers. Don’t do that unless you are painting raw sewage, feces, a rusty tank, or a portrait of Jeff The Drunk from the Howard Stern show. Ok well now that there’s 4 layers of mess, now I’ll start cleaning up the crime scene while watching people play Mega Man on Twitch.
PART 8: ITCHY AND SCRATCHY! So, unlike the kitchen after making an entire orphanage a vat of spaghetti, we are on to the most therapeutical stages of working on clayboard, which is the clean up! Because of all of those compressed evil gypsy-ashes that make up clayboard, it’s very soft and susceptible to sharp or coarse things. What I mean is, you can scratch, sand, and rub away any part of the painting that you don’t want to look at anymore because it reminds you of the bad times. So, using various tiny knives that previously belonged to wall-trolls, some steel wool, and even sandpaper, you can scrape shit away and now control the amount of mess you want to keep on your skin, I mean on the painting, as well as create some highlights and value changes in the painting. Unfortunately a lot of times this makes it appear a little flatter and less vibrant/colorful because when you scratch it, every color now has plain white highlights. But at least it’s a start. OREGON TRAIL!! MARIA HAS DYSENTARY!
PART OREGON TRAIL: JASON GOT A SNAKE BITE! WAGON WHEEL GONE! DIED! DIED! CROSS RIVER?! DIE! DIGITAL DEATH! TOTAL TRAIL FUSION FAILURE! CANNOT COMPUTE! DYSENTERY! CHICKEN POX! BUY A YOKE! SHOOT SHOOT DIE! Tombstone death.
PART 9. Please disregard that last post. Some of the evil-gypsy-ashes from the clayboard got into my Commodore 64. It happens. Maybe pen & paper IS better than computers. Oh well, onward. I didn’t like that the colors were muted after creating white highlights, so I decided to add more color back in. This time I used light washes of acrylic. That way, I could make some of the areas solid and bright and some of them I could keep some of that texture that I pretended to create on purpose. This also really makes the shapes pop out from each other and gives me a better map as to how to apply the last layer of line-work.
PART X: I’ve lied a lot in the last few posts, but only about my favorite parts of the painting process. The final layer of line-work (using a Winsor-Newton Series 7 brush and black speedball ink and/or Royal Talens) is my favorite part. It’s like black glue that holds my confused puzzle together. After this stage, there’s just a little more shading and highlighting and scratching and sanding in order to make it look like I always intended it to look this way. And there you have it. Pretending to know how to do something until eventually you are happy enough with it not to practice your sick karate on it. Thanks for coming along on this word-ride with me. Prints of this "Eye Am Sorry" piece will go on Sale Friday at shop.alexpardee.com
EPILOGUE: I scan the painting on a flatbed Epson Expression 10000 (yes thats the real ridiculous name), stitch it together in photoshop, and slightly color correct it and clean it up before I share it. This is the most important part in my opinion because otherwise you're sharing a dirty diaper instead of a clean pretty one.
For years I have used my free time to absorb any and all pop culture, mix it up in my brain, and spit it back out on paper in a big pile of artsy mashed potatoes that simulatanously disgrace what I love AND make me laugh. Occasionally, I have offered some of these bad jokes in tangible form as prints and shirts, but STARTING TONIGHT, June 5th at 9PM PST, these "Pop CultJerks" are finally starting to become available in one single place, and you can help your torso feel good while making yourself laugh while offending strangers. Sound good? GOOD! Then have fun!!! Check out the ENTIRE COLLECTION below, and pick them up in the SHOP TONIGHT!! Some are available to purchase for the FIRST TIME EVER! Get them HERE, starting at 9PM tonight, June 5th.
They're back! After the original "PinPrints" sold out so quickly last year, you would think I would have made some more right away, but after absorbing your feedback, I actually needed some time to make the product better, and ultimately BIGGER! So here are the new and improved "PinPrints". They are fine art prints....FOR YOUR PINS!
Now they are bigger, measuring at a huge 18" x 27", these screen-printed canvases can hold a TON of enamel pins (or anything else you want to stab in them).
These 4 PinPrints are NOW AVAILABLE to buy for ONLY 72 HOURS! They will disappear after Weds, May 23, so don't miss out! Your pins will be stoked.
Each print is $40 each, OR you can get ALL 4 PRINTS for only $120, which is a $40 savings! Get them all HERE NOW!
As I do my best to attempt to recover from surgery by drinking gallons of water and trying not to get dizzy when I pee, I realized it's finally time to unleash something that has been locked up for almost 4 years. For a limited time, you can pre-order my favorite shirt of all time, "ESCAPED CONVICT(ION)"! Now in LONG SLEEVES! Your forearms have never been happier.
The pre-order ends May 6th so get on it! And remember, you're the best!
PS, thanks for the kind words on social media about my recovery. I'll be ok!
GET THE SHIRTS HERE on ALEXPARDEE.COM