I can't thank the 24 of you who bought my original drawings just now. However, considering that they may be cursed, I would also like to apologize. So I'm sorry, but thank you!
The FAQs of Life…
Tomorrow is a big day. After my hand got kissed and cursed by a sensual but disgusting old gypsy, I began uncontrollably creating a series of new random drawings that may or may not also be cursed. Regardless of your safety, I decided to sell them anyway! All 24 new drawings will be ON SALE tomorrow, Friday, November 27th at 1PM EST exclusively HERE on my new site at alexpardee.com.
So, in case you have any desire to snatch up one of the (possibly cursed) drawings, here is an imaginary list of questions that no one asked….yet. THANK YOU IN ADVANCE!
Q: How big are the drawings?
A: All of the pieces are approximately 11" x 11". I say approximately because they all have a life of their own, and it was Thanksgiving just now, so some of them may have eaten too much and gotten a little bigger.
Q: How much do they cost?
A: Each piece will be individually priced at $250. This price includes FREE SHIPPING TO ANYWHERE IN THE WORLD THAT ALLOWS (possibly cursed) PACKAGES TO BE SENT (I'm looking at YOU, Santa Claus, don't try to pull that shit again)
Q: Does "FREE SHIPPING" really apply to anywhere in the world?
A: Yes, in fact, I will most likely lose money if someone in Egypt or Antarctica purchase a piece, but who cares because that would be awesome if someone in Egypt or Antarctica bought some art. FREE SHIPPING!
Q: How many of each piece will be for sale?
A: Each piece is ONE-OF-A-KIND. Just like the Highlander, there can only be ONE of each original drawing. So you may need to act fast.
Q: Do you accept PAYPAL?
A: Unfortunately, NO. Currently, my new site is powered by Squarespace, which, although amazing in many ways, does not accept PayPal as a form of payment at this time. I apologize. Most other major credit cards are accepted on checkout, but NO PAYPAL.
Q: Is it guaranteed that I will get the piece if I put it in my shopping cart?
A: NO! The only way you are guaranteed to receive the piece that you wish to purchase is after you complete the entire checkout process. Because of this, you may need to act fast.
Q: This reminds me of something else I've seen kinda.
A: Yah, that happens. I've seen that stuff too. It's ok. You should get out more.
Q: Why was Tootie even on the show? She was way too young, especially in the first season.
A: You're right. She was like 9 and everyone else was about 16. I'm not sure. I'll look into it.
Q: What kind of pen did you use?
A: These were all created with india ink and a Windsor Newton Series 7 #00 brush. But I don't think that matters as much as the fact that my hand was physically cursed by an insane old gypsy with an eye patch made of flesh. So, well, there's that.
Q: WHEN CAN I BUY ONE!!???
A: All 24 of these original drawings will go UP FOR SALE exactly at 1:00 PM EST on FRIDAY, November 27th, EXCLUSIVELY here on alexpardee.com (please note that until the pieces go on sale, there will be nothing available on my webstore and it will appear BLANK until the time of the sale).
HAPPY THANKSGIVING FROM ME, BLAIR, JO, NATALIE, TOOTIE AND MRS G!
"BLACK (andWhite) FRIDAY" ORIGINAL ART SALE
in Promotions
I try not to get into altercations with strangers, because the results have always been odd when I've done so in the past. Just over 3 weeks ago, however, "odd" is an understatement for what resulted when I got hit by a car while walking in a cross-walk. I didn't get permanently injured, but my belt instantly shrank two notches around my waist as my left hip half-shattered inside my pant-leg when the car screeched to a halt. My natural reaction, aside from the initial confusion (and the drool spatter), was to stumble to toward the driver's side of the vehicle and angrily confront whoever was in the pilot's seat. In this case, it was a filthy old woman with a flesh-colored eye patch stapled to her stretched leathered skin surrounding a mouth over-pouring with extra teeth, which were gritting as she motioned to drive off in front of me without saying a word. Although I was shocked by her appearance, it didn't stop me from reaching into her car's cracked window to grab the steering wheel in a weakened attempt to thwart her escape plan. Well, she still ended up driving off. But not before she grabbed my extended hand, twisted it counterclockwise 90 degrees, and kissed it while muttering the words "twenty four" repeatedly as she squealed away laughing, letting go of my hand moments before it could have been dislocated.
I didn't think much of it at first aside from "Holy shit, Florida is insane", but that night, my hand started trembling. The motion was subtle at first, but within 10 minutes the trembling was constant, as a patch of skin shaped like a lipstick mark on the back of my hand swelled and rose above my veins. It hurt. And the only way I can describe the pain was that it felt like my hand was nauseated, almost as if it were….craving.
That was 24 days ago.
Since then I haven't eaten. I haven't slept. I haven't changed my clothes. I haven't even watched all of Ash Vs Evil Dead. Not because I didn't want to, but because I simply couldn't. My HAND wouldn't let me. All my hand would do is draw. Constantly. Over and over and over. Sometimes it would draw better than other times, but it never stopped….until I finished 24 new drawings. Then finally it let me rest.
Well, I decided to sell each one of these (possibly cursed) mysterious original drawings that my (possibly possessed) mysterious hand created during the last 3 weeks of my recovery.
This collection of of original black and white drawings will go on sale on Friday, November 27th at 1PM EST for my special "BLACK (andWhite) FRIDAY SALE" exclusively HERE ON MY STORE.
- Each drawing is approximately 11" x 11" ink on bristol board (unless noted, as some are on clayboard), created entirely with black india ink and a #00 Windsor Series 7 Sable Brush.
- Each drawing is signed and dated.
- Each drawing will cost $250 each, which includes FREE SHIPPING TO ANYWHERE IN THE WORLD! EVEN VERMONT! Please be aware that these are one-of-a-kind original drawings, so there are only ONE of each drawing.
- Also note that these drawings WILL NOT SHOW UP on my store until exactly 1PM EST on Friday, 11/27. Until then, my store will be empty.
- Each drawing will also come shipped with a FREE COPY of my brand new (possibly cursed) art zine, "SUREWHYNOT?" which contains almost the entire collection of these new (possibly cursed) drawings.
Long (possibly cursed) story short, I have over 20 new original ink drawings going on sale on 11/27 at 1PM EST exclusively on HERE ON MY STORE. Have a HAPPY (hopefully not cursed) THANKSGIVING!
SPONTANEOUS D-CON-BUSTION!
in Appearances
Because of my busy schedule (which has included enlightening experiences like learning how to grave-rob, eating glitter with Chloe, and getting 3 of my vertebrae replaced with Slinkys so that I can pull off a really convincing "possessed crab walk"), It's been a while since I was able to make it to any conventions or shows. However, there is ONE show that I have been wanting to attend since it's inception, and that show is DESIGNER-CON but every year it has seemed to coincide with other commitments. Until now! Almost at the last possible minute, I decided to take the 3000-mile leap of faith and, like my favorite thing to do at a stoplight, GO! And I am looking forward to visiting every single booth and going "OH MAN, I WISH I MADE THAT!" and then coming home and squeezing out all of the inspiration from the sponge that ill be soaking everybody up in. Because it was such a last-minute decision, however, I won't have much stuff to sell or giveaway, but I WILL have a few new fun things floating around, so if you are going, make sure you keep your eyeballs banana'd (that means PEELED! Im trying to start some new slang) for these things and maybe some more hiding somewhere who knows!
I'll be hanging and posted at DAVE CORREIA's BOOTH #1225 the whole show, so come say hi. See you there!
Oh yah, there IS one big thing that I will be bringing with me, which is a BRAND NEW 24-page art zine that I will be debuting at the convention called "SUREWHYNOT!?" featuring a bunch of drawings for no reason! Or maybe it IS for a reason. Maybe they appear to be for no reason but are actually a Google-collaborative-experiment that records your reactions and uses them against you in your dreams. Who knows. Take a chance. It's fun!
Here's a map to where I will be with Dave Correia, also alongside some of the best art dudes around, Skinner, Matt Ritchie, and Wayshak
